I feel like writing and talking my heart out in the middle of doing my tute work for tomorrow in which im getting assessed =.="

BUT apart from that, something just doesnt feel right.
I've never had the intention to think that God is unfair, never ever thought that God is so picky.
Infact, I'm the one who's picky, because if I dont do so, things are just gonna happen and *TADDAA* there goes my heart broken into pieces, again.

I've survived from the so-called heart-broken by believing, and by having faith that every things that have happened to me, whether it was good, bad, ridiculous, or even horrible, are things that are already listed in God's future book.

Some things didnt go the way I wanted it to go. Some things just went horribly wrong and left me depressed. To be honest, I wanted to blame God for why had my life been so sad, that even I couldn't control it. But soon I realised, God is never unfair, and He will never leave me even if I had blamed Him.

DISSAPOINTMENT

That would be the word to describe how He feels. But because of those experiences, that even anything that can be valued with money can never buy. Experiences which made me start to perceive things in a different way, His way.

Sometimes I still think that all of this is just too much. Sometimes I complaint so much to God as to why do I have to go through this again. Sometimes I just cant take it anymore that I ended up crying in silence.

Now that I have thought of things with several considerations for what is best for the future, I will believe in His way, I will believe that He has it all planned for us, and for what we deserve best.
I will stop complaining, but be grateful instead.

Because humans are greatest when they are grateful...